Over the past several years I have had the honor of working with thousands of committed educators from all around the world!  I have learned a great deal from these educators, as well as their students! As a result, I have developed a protocol in response to a scenario that I have found comes up repeatedly, especially in schools across the US…

So, you know how your students are wonderful when they are with you, and then when they go to specials or have a substitute all you know what breaks loose?  I don’t know if you are like I used to be, however, when I would get feedback from my substitute or specialist that my students didn’t cooperate, I would let my students know how embarrassed and disappointed I was with them and often times held them in during recess to lecture them.

In my lecture, I failed to do several important things. First, I failed to honor our relationship.  Second, I failed to let them voice what happened from their perspective.  Third, I missed the teachable moment and failed to help them see how they had the power to do things differently.  Finally, I never gave them the opportunity to make amends and put things right, so the resentments and hurt lasted longer than it needed to.

Below is the protocol I developed which I have found to be much more effective in creating a positive and longer lasting change.   You can use it with different scenarios and even as a restorative dialogue between 2 students.  I hope you will find it to be helpful and meaningful as well.

Challenging Scenario:  Disrespect and lack of cooperation with substitute or specialist though they cooperate with you.

• Norms:  Always review boundaries and norms of your circle.
• Strength:  What is the reason that you cooperate so well when you are with me?
• Express:  What happened yesterday with the substitute? (Remember to be curious, not furious and mindful of your body language and facial expression.)
• Agency:  What virtues could you have called on and/or what could you do next time to create a more cooperative atmosphere? (Chart their answers so that you can have them posted in your room for future use.)
• Amends:  What do you think needs to happen to make things right?
• Acknowledge:  Thank students for the virtues they displayed working through the problem.

OK, now you are probably thinking, “Why do I have to wait until there is a challenging situation in my classroom to use this protocol?” You are absolutely right!  You can use it proactively as well.

Proactive Virtues Circle:

• Norms:  Always review boundaries and norms of your circle.
• Strength:  What is the reason that you cooperate so well when you are with me?
• Express:  How are you feeling about having a substitute tomorrow?  (You can also invite students to call on empathy and imagine how the substitute might feel coming into a new class.)
• Agency:  What virtues can you call on and/or what can you do to create a cooperative atmosphere when the substitute is here?  (Chart their answers so that you can have them posted in your room for future use.)
• Acknowledge: I feel so grateful and peaceful to know that I can trust you to cooperate when I am not with you.

On behalf of your students whose behavior does not always demonstrate how grateful they are to you (I should know, I was one of those students whose behavior was challenging), thank you for your commitment to creating a caring community in your classroom!

Wishing you much joy, meaning and purpose always and in all ways,

Dara